It isn't every morning you sit down to read, think and write and wind up being humbled.
Today was my morning for exactly that to happen.
It all started a couple of weeks ago, but kind of culminated last night before bed.
For the past couple of years, I've been very interested in dairy goats and have wanted to get a couple of them.
Matt, repeatedly told me no. (pout, pout.)
I'd been asking the Lord to change his heart and miracle of miracles, He did!!
I can't begin to describe for you how happy I was when he told me I could get goats...IF we sold our commercial refrigerator. I still think we should keep it, but was willing to make the sacrifice to get goats.
My heart was soaring!! It reminded me of that verse in Proverbs 13 about hope being deferred, makes your heart sick, but when the desire comes it is a tree of life.
Well, that is EXACTLY how I was feeling.
I thought this will be simple. "Sell the frig, buy my goats!"
I couldn't sleep that first night for all the excitement I was feeling. After tossing and turning for half the night, I decided to quit trying to sleep and go research goats. (I love research.)
Finally, decided that Nubians would be best suited for our needs and wants and began scouring the internet and craigslist for them....
Had no luck...
I wasn't about to give up hope though.
The next day, I started cleaning up the frig to get it ready to sell. It took about two days to get all of that accomplished and pictures taken and the ad posted to craigslist.
I kept searching for those goats. Day in and Day out...searching, searching, searching.
I realized after about three days of checking Craigslist about every 15 minutes, (very exhausting) that I could set up an alert if something were to post with my keywords. (To date there have been no alerts :-/)
I finally found some in Champaign that were bred does. They were also pretty reasonably priced. They were a Nubian x LaMancha cross, but she said they were really good. And that she would get back with me with more information. I'm still waiting to hear from her, its been about two weeks. (Ugh! I really hate waiting!)
So, last night I was scouring Craigslist again and found some listed just west of St. Louis. I got so excited, I emailed and then spoke with the man on the phone. He's supposed to email me pictures this morning. I didn't really care about the distance because I had gotten to the point that I was ready to drive wherever to get the right ones.
The only problem was that when I got off the phone, Matt said, "I don't know why you are talking to people about goats. The frig hasn't sold yet."
Well, talk about a downer. I see others' farms and just dream of when ours can be more like that, more picturesque, more animals, a bigger garden, (Yes, I realize this means a lot more work for me...that doesn't bother me though. I'm no stranger to work and working hard!) it's just a dream of mine I guess. I guess I was just magically hoping that it would sell OR that my wonderful husband would say, "Ok, get the goats...just make sure you sell the frig." He's sticking to his guns though. (Nuts!)
I am okay with this, since it was our agreement, but I admit it, I'm a little envious of people who already have their adorable goats. (Don't judge me! -Jack)
So anyway, that brings me to my reading this morning and its humbling effect.
Sarah Mae was encouraging contentment in season of life that we are currently in. But, you know, it is hard sometimes to be content in our lives, when we see a woman whose house is cleaner, whose kids are better behaved, who maybe has chickens, goats and a horse....you get the idea.
But, we are where we are.
She writes, "If you find yourself depressed or angry about not being able to have the home (or goats) you desire, might I suggest that perhaps you are trying to find life in something other than the Life-Giver? He is the only One who can give us life; our worth and value come from Him alone. Enjoy the seasons God allows you to move through; pray for a contented spirit.
'...give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that is needful for me, lest I be full and deny you and say, 'Who is the Lord?' or lest I be poor and steal and profane the name of my God.' Proverbs 30:8-9"
She then encourages us to write down 10 things we are thankful for today and as for the cleaning assignment to sweep and mop the floors in the laundry room and to clean out and throw away any expired products in the laundry room cabinets.
I'm really trying to be content and to know that I will get the goats in due time. Especially, because I have asked the Lord to sell the frig soon and when that happens to lead me to the right goats for us. So really, I just need to trust that the Lord is doing what is best for me in this situation and quit fretting so much.
It's hard though because it feels so close yet, so far away. It will happen though, because Matt did say I could get them. Yay!
Patience is key.
What about you all? Did you ever go through a situation like this where you had to have patience waiting for all the right things to fall into place BEFORE you could act??
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